I've been Squeezed

"if you squeeze a lemon, only lemon juice comes out..."

When under pressure, in a bad mood....the things that come out only show what a person is really like inside.

I'm sitting at my table late at night writing this post looking at my angel son passed out on the couch and thinking of how I acted today....
It's so discouraging at times to know in my mind the kind of person I want to be and compare that to who I really am.

After Josh pinched Hannah's arm, squeezed honey on the floor, on the towel, on his small wallet, on our air purifier (while I was on the phone), hit Naomi in the back with the butt of a butter knife...I just exploded. I hit his hand hard (am I not suppose to be teaching my child not to hit?)and put him in his crib.
We made amends later with tears and hugs and a promise to try better (both of us).